Here’s a review for the film, THE KINGDOM, currently available on DVD…

The skinny: The Monkey in My Mind says 5.5 (out of ten).

I am a fan of geopolitical thrillers and was pretty pumped to see this film when the trailer started showing up in theaters like a year ago. It took me a while to find the time to break away from the wife and baby to meet up with my brother-in-law to catch the flick late one night on my way home from a business trip to NY. By this time, I had already read a few reviews on www.rottentomatoes.com, and had an inkling that the film would be underwhelming. It was one of those situations in which my Monkey Mind was determined to see this thing, regardless of what the world thought of it, so I pressed on and made the rendezvous with Leland (my bro-in-law) and strapped into my seat, prepared to be entertained, if not blown away.

For me, the impact of the film was summed up on my way out of the theater when I asked Leland, “On a scale of 1 to 10, what did you think?” He replied, “About a nine.” To which I said, “Okay, taking out all of the guns and violence at the end, what did you think?” Scratching his head a moment as we scooted out the double doors about a half hour after midnight, he adjusted his rating to about a 6, which matches up nicely with the Monkey’s take on it (5.5).

The bottom line is, if you’ve seen HEAT, you’ve seen a better expression of, if not the exact plot, the execution of a strongly crafted violence-extravaganza thriller. The films are totally different in theme and plot (obviously), but both films at least attempt to satisfy a similiar desire within the hearts of its mostly male audience. We men like to see movies about bad-ass dudes wreaking havoc with other bad-ass dudes trying to stop them, bottom line. The genius of HEAT is how its characters’ bad-assness is expressed. In other words, when Val Kilmer and Bobby D and Tom Sizemore and Al Palcino are running around the streets of LA conducting one of the most realistic and gripping shoot-em-up sequences in the history of film, one of the reasons we are so gripped by this scene appears to be its gritty realism (which, incidentally was choreographed by a former British SAS soldier). But in actuality, what simply appears to be action & violence, this gritty realism, is compounded by Truth (with a capital T, no less). In other words, the writer (Michael Mann) has created a world so rich and characters so genuine, that the gritty realism is elevated to the level of Truth through the actions and choices of his characters. We are so moved by this action and violence not simply because it was researched, choreographed, and executed with extreme precision, intention, and attention to detail. We are moved by this spectacle because we CARE about the people conducting the gunplay. And I don’t mean “care” in an ASPCA or nursing home kind of way, I mean care in the sense of the natural human tendancy to empathize with fellow humans. The problem with a lot of films is that the people we see up on the screen often don’t fall into the category of “fellow humans.” They’re just beautiful people reciting lines and running around.

Anyway, getting back to The Kingdom. You just don’t really care about this elite team of FBI agents who basically weasel their way into Saudi Arabia to investigate a horrific terrorist attack on an American housing complex there. And let me break them down for you.

Jamie Foxx plays the leader of the team. We are supposed to care about him because in the opening scene of the film, we meet him during “Take Your FBI Agent Dad to School Day,” where he tells his son’s kindergarten class (led by a super-hot kindergarten teacher played by Minka Kelly – why couldn’t she just be normal looking) that his boy being born was the best day of his life. I guess this is supposed to be the obligatory “Save the Cat” scene (read the screenwriting book, Save the Cat, for more info on this), in which we’re supposed to care about this guy because he loves his son. There’s not much else in terms of character development with this guy, other than the fact that he has a habit of befriending the sons of dudes killed in the line of duty.

Chris Cooper plays the wiley, stodgy vet who’s seen it all. He has some decent lines and is such a great actor that one can be mystified by his performance and fail to see the one-dimension-ness of his character.

Jennifer Garner is so forgettable in this movie, besides her perky you-know-whats in those tight government t-shirts. Here’s an example of the lack of Truth in this film. I don’t know if any of you have ever been to the middle east, but it’s freaking “hot as” over there. My dad was stationed in the embassy in Cairo and I can tell you from experience, if you’re going to spend a considerable amount of time outside in the blazing sun, you don’t wear a t-shirt unless you want a farmer’s tan from hell. So there’s Jenny, bouncing around in one of the most strict Muslim countries in the world, where even Western women are obliged to cover up, wearing one of the tightest t-shirts that Costumer Susan Matheson could find. Not only would this simply be a complete no-go in terms of respecting the local Wahabbi law, but she would also be suffering from a horrendous sunburn after standing around the huge Oklahoma City-esque bomb crater, which is the main crime scene that the FBI agents have to contend with. No Truth here. Might sound trivial, but in a film there are many opportunities to express Truth and we have to take every opportunity when we get them.

Since he’s all the rage these days, I guess I have to mention that Jeremy Piven makes a cameo here as a coked-up diplomat handler type who comes on the scene to shoo away Foxx’s team of investigators. His performance is forgettable, mostly because it’s Jeremy being Ari again, but also because it lacks Truth. Embassy types aren’t reckless fast-talking wise guys the characterization here doesn’t elevate to Character, and instead slogs around in the realm of caricature. That being said, the only thing my eyes were really drawn to whenever Ari was onscreen was how short Jeremy and Jamie look when they’re standing next to each other.

Finally, Jason Bateman plays the wise-cracking cynic. I don’t know why Hollywood persists in doing this, but there really aren’t that many cynics in government service. And if a true cynic like the Bateman character did find his way into the FBI, he would promptly try to find his way out of the FBI as soon as he realized that he was all alone in an environment that doesn’t really support critical thinking. These kind of characters are simply Hollywood comic relief, but they are antithetical and truly fictional. Don’t get me wrong, there are many, many funny people in the military (and I assume the FBI) – you actually have to have some kind of sick sense of humor to do the job with a straight face – but there are very few whiney, wimpy types like Bateman’s character. The field just doesn’t attract those types.

I want to wrap up soon, but I have to say a little bit about director Peter Berg’s style in this film. Now I liked Friday Night Lights, the movie, which I believe was his first film, but there are scenes in this movie that felt like they were occuring in the same “If Life Were A Movie Universe” as his previous film. This came up for me in a few interstitial moments where we see the Saudi police character go home to his family, shot warmly and handheld, and set to this same Americana-type music we heard in Lights. I’m sorry, it just feels weird to see this guy go home to his Muslim family as if he’s in the middle of West Texas gearing up for the State Championship. I think Berg was trying to go for the commonality of all of us, that this guy is a family man just like I am, but it lacked Truth in its execution. It felt contrived and sentimental. This also popped up when Jamie Foxx went door to door on the housing complex interviewing witnesses. The characters he met up with were like Perriman football fans transported across the globe and dropped in the middle of Saudi Arabia, ma and paw, sittin’ on the porch, watching the world go by. Very few oil field contracters bring their families along, and that those that do, I’m sorry to offend, usually seem a little more educated and worldly than the townfolk we meet in this film. I’ve know a few embassy types and oil company types in my day and they look, act, and talk nothing like the local yokels presented in the film.

Notice I didn’t talk much about plot. It’s almost a worthless endeavor to even bring it up, as there is so much lack of “truthiness” to even begin that type of critical look at the film.

On a boring Friday night, I suppose this film would be a decent rental, but not at the expense of engaging in real experiences with the real people in your life.