Image by: Kymberly Vohsen

“Thoughts become things. Things are thoughts held in form by the great creator, the Universal Subconscious Mind, but a thing only becomes a thing as a result of a conscious thought!” – U.S. Andersen, “Three Magic Words,” page 142.

Photo by: Revati Upadhya

Thought for the Day: 10/4/08:

“There are only two things you can do for yourself. One is conception and the other is conviction. All the work of creation rests with another than you. For no [one] is responsible for anything in this life except [their] thoughts and [their] beliefs.” – U.S. Anderson, “Three Magic Words,” page 49.

Yesterday, as I drove into Boston to once again put the laws of “Intentional Creation” into practice, this time to negotiate with a car dealer to be compensated for some damage to my car that was undetected until after I purchased it, I was overwhelmed with the realization that this latest challenge was nothing more than an opportunity to manifest even greater abundance for myself and my family.

Granted, thoughts were swirling around in my mind all week about what I would do if I weren’t successful in receiving compensation to cover $3000+ worth of damage that we discovered during a routine inspection, and my Monkey Mind also focused on points I would make within the negotiation itself: arguments I would raise, objections I would counter, instead of simply focusing solely on the desired result: a repaired car back in my hands. Then, in the final hours, I began to redirect my focus solely on what I wanted, constantly overcoming the Monkey Mind’s desire to focus on the difficulty, the problem itself, the enigma of the negotiation. In fact, the image that came to my mind was one of my shining, fixed car spinning in front of my eyes, like a glossy car commercial inside my mind.

Look for the Light In Others and Circumstances

During that beautiful ride into Boston, driving purposely through the crisp October air, a huge smile crept across my face. Not only was I going to be successful in manifesting my intention, but I was also going to have fun in the process. Right then and there I decided to shift my perception of the owner of the car dealership. Instead of assuming that he was a swindler, a typical “used car salesman” who sold me a lemon, I instead envisioned him as a successful, balanced entrepreneur, no different than myself, who was also in the midst of a problem (i.e. selling a valued customer a damaged product), and that he would do everything in his power to resolve this problem fairly. I made a choice to look only for the light in him, to approach the situation calmly, and to allow a space within our negotiation for the Universal Mind to be able to exist and provide the answers for our right-minded thinking.

Over the course of the week as I thought about this problem, I realized that too much of my thinking was oriented towards the problem itself as opposed to the solution. I thought of all the things I would say, the merits of my case, and what I would do if I didn’t get what I wanted. Looking back, I realize it is literally insane thinking within the context of any perceived problem to do anything else besides constantly focus on a positive result.

And why is this true? Well the answer is simple. We have a choice in every given moment of our day as to how we wish to perceive external stimuli. The choice is ours and ours alone. So why not assume the best? If we assume the worst and the worst manifests, our only reward will be to have been “right.” If we assume the best and the best happens, we will be rewarded with the desired outcome and the “benefit” of being “right.” But what if we assume the best and the worst happens? Or we assume the best an outcome we didn’t plan for occurs, or we assume the best and something somewhere between best and worst manifests?

Persistence Pays

This is such an important question because it brings about one of the most important concepts of prosperity consciousness and success, and that is the concept of persistence. The easiest way to truly understand persistence is to view it as simply a refusal to accept negative outcomes as final. In other words, when things appear to be negative, these occurences are merely reminders that more opportunities exist to once again realign ourselves with the Universal Mind. The old adage, “It ain’t over ’til it’s over,” simply means, it isn’t over until we say it’s over. U.S. Anderson puts it even more clearly, saying, “do not deny negative circumstance. Simply have faith in what you believe and refuse to accept negative circumstances as final.“

There is always an opportunity for a second act, another day, another try. Even on the precipice of death is there an opportunity for a shift in consciousness. What one day might be perceived as a calamity might the next be seen as a windfall. As an example, the other day I was talking to one of my customers who was explaining why I hadn’t seen her in a while. Turns out she was in a car accident and had to miss work while recuperating from injuries. Sounds bad, right? Well, she goes on to say that prior to the accident, her car had encountered some serious maintenance issues that would require several thousand dollars worth of repair work. There were also some other things about the car that she didn’t like and had made an intention to somehow get a new car. In addition, being from Russia, she had made the intention of visiting her family next year and was saving her vacation days for that, but at the same time, had decided that she would like to take some vacation days now after working for over two years without a single day off. She wasn’t sure how she would be able to afford taking vacation days twice, as her trip to Russia would require a lot of time with the far distance to travel.

Not long after deciding on this intention was she struck by another motorist while driving home from work, totalling her car and injuring her. While injured, fortunately none of her wounds were life threatening or permanent. Her doctor ordered her to 2-3 weeks of rest at home, exactly the time off that she had been desiring prior to the crash. With her car totalled, she no longer had to worry about that large repair bill and her insurance settlement ended up providing more money than she owed on the car, resulting in her making money on the exchange, which allowed her to buy a new, safer car, for less money than her cheaper compact car, due to the extra funds she received in the settlement.

As she told me about this, I remarked on how she had been putting the Law of Attraction and Law of Intention Creation in practice, and she admitted that she had been realigning her thoughts for several years now and wasn’t all that surprised by the results she had achieved. What appeared to be a bad situation turned totally positive, based on her manner of thinking.

Many of us might have stopped at the car crash, the injuries, the inconveniences. We would have battled against the insurance company, our health care providers, or our employers on minutiae that would have suddenly expanded into larger problems. But a refusal to accept a negative outcome as final leads to untold riches.

A phrase often heard in recovery circles is, “Don’t quit before the miracle happens.” If we continue to persist, the miracle is right around the corner, behind the next door, just waiting for us to discover it.

I thought about this last night, shaking hands with the owner of the car dealership, smiling as he wrote a large check out to me to cover the damages.  Mission accomplished.

“Each nay I hear will bring me closer to the sound of yea. Each frown I meet only prepares me for the smile to come. Each misfortune I encounter will carry in it the seed of tomorrow’s good luck. I must have the night to appreciate the day. I must fail often to succeed only once.”– Og Mandino

Image by: Kymberly Vohsen

I am having a lot of fun reading U.S. Anderson’s “Three Magic Words.” So much so, that while reading yesterday, I received an inspired thought to share some of what I’m reading in the form of “Thoughts for the Day” on my blog. These short quotes will come from whatever I’m currently reading that I believe contains particularly helpful power.

So without further ado, beginning today, each day I will post a “Thought for the Day,” with the purpose of providing a nugget of consciousness to inspire, motivate, and reflect upon. Today we begin with a thought about the so-called “Law of Attraction“:

You are what you think; you attract what you think; your life is a product of your thought and belief; and nothing in the world can change this fact. To alter your life the only single course open is to alter your thinking! — U.S. Anderson,“Three Magic Words,” page 191.

Photo by: Scott Snyder

In a previous post I discussed the process of putting “Victory Focus” into action in order to manifest results. This process involves:

1) Imagining the results we wish to experience

2) Visioning with emotion and power what a reality containing those results would feel like

3) Believing with absolute certainty that our dreams are possible

4) Finally, co-creating those previously “imaginary” concepts, dreams, and intentions into physical reality.

These techniques and tools have never been more essential and necessary than precisely at this moment, considering the “financial crisis” that we are seeing all around us, especially when we focus on external stimuli like the evening news, the internet, talk radio, and newspapers. Ironically, when one looks at this problem through the lens of prosperity consciousness, one realizes that the perception of the problem is as much of the problem as the problem itself. In other words, a commonly accepted spiritual maxim of prosperity consciousness states that what we focus on expands. So if we focus on lack, if we focus on debt, if we focus on fear, if we focus on crisis, if we focus on greed, all of those things expand.

While no sane person would advocate or recommend practicing denial in order to cope with this “crisis,” a more healthy way of dealing with the current financial situation in the country would be to avert our attention away from the car crash, keep our eyes on the road ahead of us, and focus on the things that we wish to manifest in our lives, instead of the things we don’t wish to experience.

I cannot explain why this is, but many of us are programmed to automatically shift into fear mode when it comes to a multitude of circumstances in our lives. How often when considering a business move or financial decision do we first entertain the thought of failure? For example, let’s say a person is planning on listing their house for sale. They might look up and down their street and notice dozens of other “For Sale “signs, silently calculating in their head how long those signs have been up. They might remember that a friend or realtive had their house up for sale for a year or more, and if they did happen to sell, they lost money or barely broke even. Taking all of these cues, or mental blueprints into account, that person will probably conclude: “I’ll never sell my home.”

If that same person is considering buying a new home, they might remember that news report from the night before talking about the tightening of credit and might say: “I’ll never get a loan with everything that’s going on right now.”

If a person is considering a career change, they might consider the “fact” that CNN reported many companies are not hiring right now: “I’ll never find a new job.”

This pattern goes on and on and informs so much of our thinking that most of us never question it and simply assume that being habitually disappointed is just a part of life!

What’s incredible is that if we logically examine this phenomenon, we will discover the following: thoughts fuel results. If we assume lack, adversity, and difficulty, those things usually manifest in our external experience. Don’t believe me? Here’s an exercise: think of the happiest, wealthiest, healthiest person that you know. Go on, do it, you probably know somebody who has achieved some form of success. Now, recall your conversations and experiences with that person and ask yourself: “How often has person x complained about not enough, has felt sorry for themself, or has blamed their problems on others?” The answer you will probably come to is: not very often. While many of us experience moments of weakness, those of us who are manifesting extraordinary life experiences are also creating extraordinary visions for how we wish to live our lives.

But what if we habitually go to the negative? Well, recognizing this habit is a powerful first step, so congratulate yourself on that. The cool thing is that we have the power to change our habits. The only prequisite for change is belief in the possibility of change. And this begins with another simple question you can ask yourself, despite your present circumstances: “Do you believe it is possible to manifest prosperity in your life if you only had the tools, the help, and the guidance?” Most people will probably say yes to this, which is a huge first step, but then go right back to an error in thinking when they assume that the “help” they desire will come from the outside.

In order to advance from this first step to actually manifesting the changes we desire is to simply believe that what we want is possible, and then completely detach ourselves from the how. The how is none of our business, only the what. We believe that the sun will rise, that our hearts will continue to beat, that it will get warmer in the summer and cooler in the winter. We believe all these things and so they are. So what if we chose to incorporate other beliefs, positive beliefs, into our mental blueprint? Isn’t that revolutionary?

I mean literally imagine this, dream it up, play make believe. Many of us have heard the phrase, “Fake it ’till you make it.” What this means is that if we are embarking on a path and using tools with which others have achieved success, but we’re still not convinced that we’ll be able to experience the same success, what if we simply pretended that we were on the right path? This technique is used all the time to overcome addictions in just about every 12-step program there is, but can also be used very effectively to manifest any outcome we desire.

And why not, because it doesn’t cost anything to simply believe something, does it? So going back to the question above, which many people will answer yes to: What if we simply imagined that we already possessed the tools, help, and guidance to manifest our dreams?

The logical construct of this new “blueprinting” is as follows:

I. We accept that we would be able to manifest our desires if only we had the tools.

II. We accept that belief is the cornerstone of our reality.

III. We consciously choose to believe that we already have the tools.

IV. Since we already have the tools, we accept that will be able to manifest our desires.

It’s that simple. The only wrinkle to this whole process is the concept of time. How long are we willing to persist until the miracle occurs? Many people read articles like this, get all excited, begin the visioning process and then get frustrated that their results don’t manifest immediately. Well the old adage, “Rome wasn’t built in a day” comes into play here. If it took an entire lifetime to build our negative and destructive belief structure it might take more than a few days to tear the city down and build anew. The crazy part is that the concept of time is as much of a belief as anything else, so it can be manipulated and “wrinkled” according to our desires if so only we can believe that achieving results in a manner that requires less and less physical time is possible. A tip for beginners is to start with “small” desires that you will reasonably expect to be accomplished in short order, if only you had the tools. From success wtih small things, we can build towards to bigger and better dreams and goals.

This whole process should be fun and exciting. And it helps to have additional tools at your disposal. I recently started using some audio programs from Melissa Zollo. Melissa Zollo is an “Imagist” who runs a personal development business called Present Memory and her instructions are powerful, clear, and inspiring. I began with her program “Discover the Power of Imagination” and have recently begun her money-attracting program, “How to Unleash the Power Within to Attract Money.” Over the course of about 30 days, I was able to sell my current home at a substantial profit within about three weeks, manifest my dream house, and also register a personal record in terms of revenue and sales in my business. Currently I am visioning to get substantial repair work done on my car without having to pay a penny for it. All of this during an “economic downturn,” and a “housing burst.” I simply chose not to identify with these negative concepts. I highly recommend these powerful products. You can buy them by clicking right here.

Paul Davison is the Founder of OrganicGreenDaddy and the Co-Founder of OrganicGreenMommy.

Photo by: Anonymous

A few weeks ago I was introduced to a self-help CD set entitled: “Discover the Power of Imagination and the Art of Intentional Creation,” by Melissa Zollo. Melissa Zollo is a self-described “imagist” living in New York City, whose company, Present Memory, provides consultations, seminars, workshops, writings, and CD’s geared towards utilizing a form of the Law of Attraction to achieve positive outcomes and results in people’s lives.

I wasn’t exactly skeptical when a friend of mine first presented me with the CD, as I had done some work with “The Secret” and Esther and Jerry Hicks in the past and was already familiar with many of the concepts associated with the Law of Attraction. However, I will say that I wasn’t exactly seeking more information or guidance in this area. At least, I wasn’t consciously asking the Universe to provide me with additional guidance…

It turns out that the timing was perfect, as I was in the midst of a huge turning point in my life and was desperately in need of all of the positive energy I could attract.

Several months ago, and basically on a whim, my wife and I decided to check out some real estate in a neighboring town. Oddly enough, we had just returned from a vacation over Fourth of July weekend, during which we had ironically just made a commitment to abandon any ideas of upgrading our home and instead commit to staying in our two bedroom condo for another couple of years so as to save money and not distract ourselves with a move.

You see, as we had just started our own home-based business earlier this year, our living space had suddenly become a bit of a problem. And by that I mean: too small. But since our finances have been rather tight lately with the added expenses of starting a business, we weren’t sure if we had the resources available to make the move at this time, and we also felt that our constant pining for a new living space might be distracting us from excelling in our jobs and building our business.

But somehow, despite our intentions, we were compelled to have a look around at some properties and suddenly found ourselves putting our condo on the market. Most people might think that this was insane, given the current housing market, but we were convinced that we could achieve a profit on the condo we had purchased only 18 months earlier.

Within about three weeks we began receiving offers on our home. In the meantime, we began looking around for a new home. This time, we were focused on manifesting a home we could grow our family in, so it was important to have proper space for our offices and for potential future children. We also wanted to manifest a home had contemporary styling, tons of outdoor space, was easily upgradable and expandable, situated on a large private lot, zoned agricultural (so we could raise chickens if we wanted), and was also one more thing: affordable.

This time the doldrums of the real estate market were working in our favor as several possibilities that were within our price range emerged. We began to focus all of our intention on one candidate, much to the chagrin of our real estate agent and my parents. Obviously we couldn’t make an offer on a new home without selling our home, so we accepted an offer on our home that netted us an 11% profit on our investment. A little lower that we had hoped, but still respectable given the market conditions.

This was scary for us as if we weren’t able to score this new home we had our sights set on, we would be “out of a house” and perhaps forced to settle on a property that didn’t set our hearts afire like this one did. We quickly submitted a pretty low-ball offer, not knowing another interested party had simultaneously submitted a more substantial offer on the same property.

At about the same time, I had begun listening to the Melissa Zolo CD. What I liked most about the CD was in its ability to help me focus my energy and enthusiasm towards the object of my desire, which was in this case, this new home. During one visualization session I began to imagine what it would feel like to live in this new house. In my mind’s eye, I pictured my little daughter running through the huge field out front of the house, and in my mind’s heart I began to generate vibrations of what sensations that image would inspire within me. I pictured myself waking up in my new home, working there, sharing get-togethers there. More important than mere images, however, I conjured up the actual feelings I would experience if the possibility of actually attracting this home had become a reality.

We submitted another offer, but at the same time, we were suddenly running into some problems securing financing. With the changes in the mortgage industry now taking effect, we were under much more scrutiny than in our two previous home-buying experiences. Even though I was trying to take advantage of my Veterans benefits and use a VA Loan, one of the lenders I was working with suddenly had a problem with my income and the fact that it is derived from commissions as opposed to salary. Conventional lenders said they could approve us, but we would require a much larger down payment than the VA Loan and we didn’t exactly have a nest egg hiding in our mattress that could help us in that department.

Despite these apparent obstacles, we remained focused on our goal of securing this house. My family began to doubt my intentions, encouraging me to either look at cheaper homes or abandon our search altogether and renege on the offer we had received to sell our condo.

The “Visioning” exercises were extremely effective in helping me to only focus on my desired outcome: which was providing a proper home for my family. I began to become inspired by the thoughts and feelings that I indeed deserved a home of my dreams and didn’t have to settle for second best.

Just as it seemed as though all was lost, we remained positive, focused on the result we wanted. Incredibly, the sellers accepted our second offer, which was still a bargain for us, but was very respectable to them, given the market conditions.

But there was only one problem remaining: my VA lender, who was offering me the lowest down payment and the best interest rate told me that he wouldn’t be able to provide the funding unless I was able to prove that I was on salary and not commission. My company offered to write whatever letters I needed but they couldn’t do the one thing my lender was asking: actually change my paystubs to reflect that distinction. All seemed lost.

My wife and I continued focusing on the outcome we wanted, we continued to visualize and imagine using Melissa’s powerful CD. I literally “let go” of this lender, and began to search elsewhere for different options, still not giving into the fear of giving up my home without having a new home wrapped up, still convinced that I would be able to find a solution.

The simple practice of letting go was truly magical. I set free the idea of not getting the loan with my desired lender and suddenly something incredible happened: I received a call from that same lender who had just said no the day before. Without me doing a thing other than refocusing my attention towards success his “no” had become a “yes.” The funding had come in at just the right time, as the sellers needed a new pre-approval letter showing we could secure funding for the offer we had just made.

That afternoon, on my way home, I drove over to what will soon be our new home. It was a beautiful day, the sun shining through a swaying wall of trees surrounding the property, a crisp blue sky blanketing endlessly above. Since the sellers had already moved out, I felt secure knowing I could walk around the property and the grounds for a few moments and tap into the buzzing vibration of achieving what was at one point just a dream. Tears welled up in my eyes as I surveyed the property, which aligned exactly with the style of homes that I had placed up on my Vision Board inspired by “The Secret.” I had witnessed the power of imagination in action, the limitless magic of intentional creation now in my hands.

The Monkey and I recently successfully negotiated a pay raise and thought we’d share some things we learned during the process.

Background

Just about six months ago I was offered a rather substantial promotion and pay raise from my previous employer. Everything was great about the package offered except for the fact that my wife and I were a little worried about the extensive travel that went along with the job (2-3 weeks a month).

At about the same time I received this offer I received another offer from a different company in the same field for a similar financial package, except without the travel. After several days of introspection and analysis my wife and I decided to take the job at the new company, as we were concerned about the frequency of travel considering the fact we had a little girl at home and my wife was in the middle of starting up a stay-at-home online business and would need lots of support from me that I wouldn’t be able to give her if I were constantly away from home on the road.

The catch, if you will, was that this new job was a 100% commission sales job, while the old job was salaried, with a smaller percentage of the compensation in the form of a bonus. The good news, though, was that it was an account management-type sales job with very little cold-calling, and established accounts with yearly sales of approximately $1.3M. In other words, the fact that the company was an established industry-leader mitigated most of the risk. Further, through my research, I had learned that most Account Executives were well-paid and extremely satisfied employees. The other good news was that for the first two months I would start off with a substantial commission “guarantee,” while I learned the products, presentations, and personalities of my accounts. Decision: I made the jump.

Reality Sets In

Not long after starting the new job did I begin to notice the effects of the economic downturn that this country is currently facing, particularly in the Northeast. While the company had been growing at a pace of 20% per year, it quickly became apparent that this year would be different. Almost immediately my projections were adjusted to reflected this new reality.

On one level, this was good news, as one of the ways I was to be evaluated concerned whether or not I could hit my monthly sales projections. But the flip side to this was the fact that my commission rate had been set against loftier sales goals, and with lower projections came lower commissions. After about a month into the job I became concerned that once my two-month salary guarantee period was over, I wouldn’t be making nearly as much as I had originally thought. In fact, based on current sales, I figured I would be making about the same, if not slightly less than my “pre-promotion” position at my previous employer. Ooops!

Step One: Recognizing Frustration

At first I became upset thinking I had made a poor decision, leaving a company and products I was comfortable working with. But realizing that this line of thinking was counterproductive considering the reality of my situation and the fact that I couldn’t turn back the hands of the time, I began to perceive this frustration as what it really was: a call to action.

Step Two: Heeding the Call to Action

One of the lessons I have learned in life is that overcoming challenging situations requires careful preparation. One of the most important aspects of preparation is to conduct rehearsals. I can’t tell you how many times my wife and I have role-played with one another when it comes to be fully prepared for job interviews, contract negotiations, and presentations. After rehearsing what I was going to say several times until I felt totally comfortable overcoming potential objections, I made a call to my immediate supervisor explaining my concerns. Initially I was challenged when I pointed to the projections, which had been lowered but were still higher than what my territory was currently yielding. My commitment and confidence in my abilities were questioned. Since I had prepared, I knew exactly how to counter these arguments, and by the end of the call, he was asking specifically what I wanted so that I would be happy. I said I would like a larger commission but also suggested that I would take an extension on my guarantee until I had an opportunity to improve my territory. At the end of the call, he agreed to speak to his boss and assured me that they would take care of me.

Step Three: Committing to the Long Haul: The Art of Persistence

In my view, one of the most important elements of success is the quality of persistence. I will one day write a separate post about persistence itself, but time and time again I have realized that virtually no success arrives at the first attempt, and that when I look at others who achieved success in their field, one of the most ubiquitous commonalities between all of those people is their undying persistence.

In my case, my desire for an extended guarantee was the most important thing for me, but wasn’t the most important thing for my superiors. In other words, every week or so I had to force myself to check in and ask the status of my request. It was sometimes difficult to do this because my ego was telling me that I shouldn’t come across as a whiner or someone who was greedy. I had to constantly realign myself with my intention, which for me wasn’t to simply make more money. As the sole bread-winner in the family, I had huge responsibilities. Earning the compensation I was originally presented with wasn’t a luxury. It was a neccessity if I wanted to simply pay the mortgage and all of our bills. When I continually realigned myself with my intention, I felt more comfortable being persistent with my bosses because I felt comfortable knowing my intention was pure.

Step Four: Taking It to the Top

While initially my boss told me he would take care of extending my salary for me, circumstances would have it that I had to take up my case not with my boss, nor my boss’s boss, but with my boss’s boss’s boss, the co-owner of the company and the head cheese of the sales force. I had to be totally on top of my game in this situation, as this person is a skilled salesperson who himself can effortlessly overcome just about any objection. I knew that if I were to achieve success I would have to sell my case using one of the most powerful, yet often underused techniques in sales: creating a need.

Step Five: Creating a Need

Most salespeople try to close a sale by trumping “features and benefits” alone. The problem is that this technique ignores the idea that successful sales is really the art of transferring emotion about something. Because I had done my research I knew that creating a need was the only way to appeal to this person’s judgment. I literally rehearsed out loud in the shower that morning, presenting my case for an extended salary based on appealing to his emotions and his need to have the best sales force in the country out there confidently representing his brand without worrying about whether or not they’ll make the mortgage that month. When I appealed to his emotion, the case was closed nearly before it begun and I walked away with a four-month extension on my guarantee, with the agreement that this grace period was intended for me to go out there and rebuild the territory feeling confident that my company had my back.

Step Six: Creating a Vision for Your Life: Self-Worth Part I

Not long after securing a four-month extension to my salary did I realize that this solution was temporary. As I mentioned earlier, my territory was underperforming, and even with lowered projections the commission rate was inadequate.

Fortunately I backed up my calls for a more fair compensation structure with strong performance in the field. In fact, without strong performance, or “walking the walk,” all of these negotiations will eventually become moot if you’re not actually the superstar you claim to be, who deserves the best possible compensation package.

The month after sitting down with the head honcho I went out and hit my sales projection, the first time the territory had done that since before I took the job. The flip-side to this was that since the projection had been lowered, hitting goal still resulted in a monthly commission that was still less than my salary guarantee and less than my previous job’s salary. Since my guarantee was established to be the low end of my compensation package I had grounds to reapproach my bosses, this time to readjust my commission rate.

Now I would have the opportunity to look at my goals and decide for myself how much I was worth. Admittedly, this was a tough exercise because I found myself constantly leaning towards a rate that would produce a compensation that would simply help my family to survive, rather than to thrive. I had to do a lot of introspection to realize that I deserved to thrive and that meant I had to take a hard look at my self-worth. I realized that this whole situation was an opportunity for me to change my personal karma and embrace a life of abundance. Coming from a military background, abundance and material success were never part of the equation when it came to career choices. I had to realize that my personal success was entirely up to me and that I could feel proud asking for more, because I was simply asking for what I had now come to accept I deserved. I wasn’t greedy asking for more money. I was finally getting honest with myself and that meant beginning a life of happiness and abundance.

So I called my boss again, pointing to the fact that I had achieved goal the previous month but was still earning less than they had promised me. This time it was a much easier sell because I was came across as successful (achieving goal the previous month) and rational (pointing to the fact that I was simply asking for what was promised when I was hired). I asked for a 2% bump in my commission, accounting for the fact that they would probably counter lower and we would settle somewhere in the middle. I made the smart move of asking for slightly more knowing that sales is always a negotiation and I would most likely have to give a little in the natural give and take cycle that is sales. They came back with 1%.

Step Seven: Knowing When It’s Over: Self-Worth Part II

Because I had done my homework and was willing to continue to come from a place of equity, fairness, and positive self-worth, it soon became apparent that 1% wouldn’t do it from me. While some people might throw in the towel at this point, after asking about 4 times for a pay raise, I had the self-confidence to realize that my job was still not complete. I crunched the numbers, and 1% was still less than what they offered me when I left my previous employer, and knew that in all fairness asking for what they offered me was not only fair and reasonable, but required if I were to be able to continue to look at myself in the mirror.

This time, instead of calling my boss to discuss it verbally, I wrote out a very rational, reasonable argument for an additional .5% commission raise and sent it in an email. (FYI: I normally don’t recommend resorting to email for important negotiations as it is more difficult to transfer emotion in this medium. However, since I had laid the groundwork verbally, I deduced that at this point, a written arguement was the most effective way to state my case. More often than not, email is something of a cop out because it allows us to not have to face our fears in a more immediate context).

I included several excel spreadsheets showing my original offer, what the current package looked like, and how my proposed package equalled my initial offer. I also included a chart showing how I was already turning around the territory, taking it from -11% growth two months previous to my joining the company to +11% growth three months after taking the job, and on pace this month to achieve 15% growth.

Success!

Since my argument was well-researched, reasonable, and came from an energy field that was completely aligned with my feelings of self-worth and confidence, getting final approval on my commission package was the easiest step of the journey. It took about three months of elapsed time, hours and hours of preparation and rehearsal, clear-mindedness, and enormous persistence to pull off getting the pay package I wanted and deserved.

Step 7.5: Never Give Up

The bonus step here encompasses the idea that once you achieve success like this, it is of tantamount importance to back up all of that talk and negotiation with solid results in the field. I am doing that, on my way to achieving oustanding growth and meeting sales projection for the second consecutive month, a great accomplishment for a person so green in the territory.

I always go back to something I picked up during the interview process, when my boss’s boss told me that all he wants from his Account Executives is 100% effort. If I can look him in the eye and honestly tell him I am doing all that I can to grow the business, than that is good enough. When you hire talented people who perform at a high level on a daily basis, success is virtually assured. Granted, there are some factors that are currently beyond our control in today’s economic climate. But a willingness to work hard and achieve creative solutions on a consistent basis in complicated times will almost always result in consistent success.

When I first started this site, one of my objectives was to create a space for me to exorcise the demons clamoring around in my brain, which often take the form of the crazy Monkey blabbering to me endlessly, mostly about judging others and constantly taking their inventories. My vision was also to develop an archive of writings that would fall into the genre of Personal Development, thereby helping others to quiet their own manifestations of the Monkey.

Lately I’ve been commenting on politics, but I have also been trying, perhaps unsuccessfully, to not only give my two cents about the happenings of the day, but to also attempt to draw parrallels between the spectacle on the political stage and the much more personal, intimate, and essential spectacles that occur in our own lives. By seeing certain traits acted out on a grand stage, like defensiveness, we might better recognize and deal with those traits when they pop up in our everyday lives.

A common pitfall of a writer, and perhaps any other artist, is to at all times not only be driven by your muse and your purpose, but to also periodically pull one’s head up and gauge our “azimuth” to devine whether or not we are still on path. This is a phenomenon I first came across while in the military as an Infantry officer conducting land navigation, in which it was easy to lose sight of one’s path if one weren’t carefully checking one’s azimuth, or direction, from time to time.

So today I want to realign myself to the purpose of this site, by relating my recent experiences and interpration of the Law of Allowing.

Before I do so, I highly recommend taking about four minutes to watch this video describing the Law of Allowing. You can find it at the bottom of my post.

Is That My Child?

Yesterday we took our 18 month-old daughter to Waldorf, which is a private school based on the philosophies of Rudolf Steiner. Our daughter goes to the pre-school version that parents attend with their kids. Without getting into too much detail about Waldorf (you can read all about it in the links above), the bottom line is that it is an alternative education model with a strong focus on experiential learning and creativity. It is also a very loving environment, which made our daughter’s recent behavior even more striking.

We just returned this week from a nearly week-long trip to the West Coast, which I will talk more about below, but during which our daughter had several “tantrums.” I think some of this was due to the jetlag and the crazy travel schedule we chose to put her through during our trip, combined with tons and tons of playtime with a house full of cousins, interaction and stimulation she doesn’t normally get as our only child at home in Massachusetts.

Anyway, in class, there were several instances in which she wasn’t “playing nicely” with the other children. For example, several little kids wanted to play with her with the toys she had and she constantly shooed them away or cried when they came close to her. Later she bit her cousin (which may have been payback as he has bit her repeatedly over the last nine months or so). Bottom line, she was exhibiting very antisocial behavior that was unbecoming, unusual, and frankly quite embarrassing. Perhaps she was acting out on the stress of the travel schedule I talked about above. Or it could have been a combination of that as well as her mirroring some stress she may have internalized from my wife and me over the last several weeks, as we have been burning the candle on both ends starting our online business, along with me undergoing the stress of starting a new job. In a way, the cause of her behavior might be immaterial, as we are only faced with the choice of how to deal with this behavior we didn’t like very much.

And this is where the Monkey comes in. When it’s our own child, it’s one thing, but what if we encounter antisocial behavior from others in life: our co-workers, supervisors, strangers on the street, and commuters on the road? Do we sit there and try to devine the reasons for their behavior or do we immediately shift our attention to making them wrong and striking back with a hand gesture or a stupid comment we might later wish to take back?

Or perhaps even worse, we might internalize that negativity, take it on as our own, or think that it has something to do with us. Often this internalized negativity regurgitates itself later in the day, upon people we love or upon other strangers, continuing the cycle of negativity. Our Monkeys love this, getting high off momentarily feeling the righteous glow of judgment, or getting a rush from the energy transference of passing that negativity on to others.

But because we were fortunate enough to expose our daughter to such a loving and understanding environment as the Waldorf “classroom,” her undesirable behavior wasn’t met with criticism, judgment, and punishment, as it might’ve been met if she were in a conventional preschool, or even at home with us, a couple of parents that are simply going through Parenting OJT and definitely don’t have all the answers.

Instead, the teacher helped the other children in the class understand that right now our daughter was having fun playing by herself. Perhaps she wanted to act out her independence by going it alone for a while, a concept that might be new and uncomfortable for new parents like ourselves. So soon, the teacher encouraged the other children to help build a fort for our daughter, perhaps a “fortress of solitude” where she could regain her balance and composure, and in time, re-enter the society of the class, which she did, after a few minutes, adjusted, balanced and happy.

In my view, this story is an example of the Law of Allowing in action, in which we try to not to attempt to change others, but instead create space for others to be as they are, as the differences between us is what constitutes the rich tapestry of life, and also provides a training ground for our personal spiritual and social development. It is so easy to think that others are wrong when they behave in a manner that it is unpalatable or different than the way we think we would behave if thrown into the same circumstances.

Who Is That Angry Man?

The other day I was out in the field at work with my new job. I currently represent an industry-leading Organic vitamin & supplement company, which often allows me to interact with a variety of conscious people similarly inspiring to make their business the business of healing, growth, and abundance. However, there always exceptions, and one particular exception took the form of an extremely surly owner of a healthfood store. He is a one-man show, working within the confines of an unattractive hole in the wall in a strip mall in a non-descript part of a working class town. Inside his shop are no decorations (save a large golden crucifix hanging on the wall behind the register), no touches of humanity or beauty, no warmth, and quite a few empty shelves.

To me, empty shelves in the retail business are a message of scarcity. This account is an underperforming account with my product line and this is no surprise when you see the inside of the store. The physical store reflects the business, which in turns mirrors back onto the proprietor himself. They are all interrelated.

When I made my visit I had to wait around 30 minutes for him to finish a personal phone call, in which he loudly discussed an apparent affair he was having with a married woman. During his phone call, and later with me, he broke out into fits of cursing and lambasting his customers “idiots who don’t give him a break,” especially when the phone would ring. He criticized all of the supplement companies out there, including my own, while professing his outstanding knowledge about health and nutrition. And yet, to look at him was to gaze a upon a picture of “unhealthiness.” He was gaunt, unshaven, unshowered, and seemingly exhausted. I pitched him some of our new products, which he criticized endlessly. I even offered him an exclusive discount on one of our SKU’s that he sells a lot of, which he happily took. After about two hours in the store, he finally gave me a miniscule order and I was off, trying to shake off the negativity I accumulated inside.

There is a fine line between relating our experiences and diving back into them. I have tried to put that experience behind me, as I cannot afford a mentality of scarcity or negativity in my business. I hope that in relating the details of that experience I am not in place of judging, but instead in a place of allowing, for without allowing, I am energetically unable to attract the things I want in my life experience.

Allowing is not easy. What is easy is to judge, to ridicule, to make wrong. But all of these things are a losing attempt at making ourselves feel better, because ultimately they are an act of becoming a part of the problem rather than a part of the solution. I chose “Who Is That Angry Man?” as the title of this section because when we allow, we gain vision. Vision into ourselves. For not only is all the world a stage, but it is also a grand mirror.

When am I that angry man? If I cannot allow him to be unbalanced, angry, and negative, if I wish to rail against his character defects, I am in essence railing against myself, not allowing myself to be, and thereby not allowing life’s riches to flow unto me.

The biggest challenge I face with the Law of Allowing, however, is practicing it in the realm of my personal relationships. Something I am actively working on right now is being okay with others’ disturbances, anger, and frustration. Just simply letting them be. Allowing them to come around without my prodding, interference, or reactions. In this way, practicing the Law of Allowing is the art of dismantling the reactive mind, of quieting the Monkey. Moving into the space of being. Connecting to our highest desires in every given moment. Do I wish to engage with this person? Do I wish to take on his negativity? Do I wish to ruin my commute by taking on the stress of an aggressive driver? Do I wish to lock horns with my partner over an issue that is ultimately unconsequential?

Another Take On The Law of Allowing

My final reflection on the Law of Allowing that I wanted to mention relates to a trip I took recently with my wife and daughter to California. We are starting a new business and had to meet with our web development team out in San Luis Obispo, California. We also had a wedding to go to in Los Angeles, so we decided to combine the trips, as well as visit with my family in LA.

The airline tickets, including first class seats, were paid for by my frequent flier miles. Our rental car was subsidized by a rewards program. Our hotel in San Luis was subsidized by an association to which I belong. In LA, we stayed with my family. The mother of our web services rep babysat our daughter while we were at work in San Luis, my wife’s childhood friend babysat her while we were at the wedding, and my cousin’s daughter babysat her one night when we went out with my cousin and her husband to catch some live music in LA. In other words, we attracted thousands of dollars worth of travel expenses and childcare by making this trip.

Not only that, when we were in SLO, our web services rep gave us the incredibly generous gift of a couples massage followed by a mineral springs tub at a gorgeous spa on the Central Coast. As I sat in the tub with my wife, totally chilled out from an amazing massage, surrounded by lush vegetation, a gentle breeze, and the most crystal clear blue sky, I experienced profound awareness of letting go and allowing life’s riches to embrace me. I didn’t conceive of any of this - my wife did most of the work in arranging it all - but I believe these gifts were the direct result of the daily work of building relationships with family, friends, and business associates, creating a family-focused business, and making a habit of listening for guidance on what to do next.

Starting a new business is a tremendous amount of work…but it doesn’t have to painful. That choice is up to us. It does require sacrifice - all things of value do - but when you are “on your path,” things tend to flow a little easier. Things make sense. They add up. The real work is done months, years, or an entire lifetime before launching the business or enterprise. Preparing ourselves, aligning ourselves, and most importantly, listening for guidance. I struggled for several years making my way in television production in NYC before realizing that most of the struggle was due to a lack of alignment. Eventually I was a successful reality television writer/producer who couldn’t bring himself to watch the shows he was creating. I was doing it for paycheck instead of love, and in time, that kind of work is unsustainable and will distintegrate.

Although the Law of Allowing generally seems to relate more to allowing others “to be,” I believe another manifestation of it is the art of allowing life to present itself to you exactly as it is: a present.