But I do agree that our opinion of others is a reflection of our opinion of ourselves, so the observer can never be removed from the situation. Your point is well taken. In fact, I invite you to read more to discover that several of your points have been taken into account in this blog. The Monkey and I have written about what our criticisms of Pavlina could mean about ourselves in the post: Steve Pavlina’s Take on Polyamory Causes Me to Re-think My Marriage.

I used to read a newsletter from a woman named Cheryl Lindsey, aka Gentle Spirit. She promoted homeschooling, simple living, Christian marriage. She was featured on radio, invited to speak at homeschool workshops all over the country. Meanwhile, she decided to carry on an affair with a guy she met on the internet, enjoying trysts right under the noses of the Christian leaders who had invited her to talk about marriage and family. After she was exposed as a fraud, she lost her following. You have to be authentic or you lose your ability to connect with people. Having an affair at night was not consistent with the message she was delivering during the day to love and submit to your husband. Lindsey ended up divorcing her husband and marrying her paramour (or should I say, polymore?)

I would have been more impressed if Steven had chosen extended periods of celibacy to reach a higher state of consciousness. That would have been consistent with his emphasis on self discipline. Now it seems that following his advice leads to divorce, humiliating your spouse and abandoning your children to screw others with impunity. Sad to watch him implode. He had such promise.

Steve is a successful businessman who has built his fame and fortune by becoming this “guru” of self-development. In other words, he tells people how to live their lives and they love it. What’s disturbing in his whole approach is that he is a clever man who knows how to manipulate others. Very critical towards all religions, he has, in a sense, created his own. It’s in line with the adoration of the ego, the self-centeredness and the me, me-ism.” It’s all about me-me-me ”. My happinness, my well-being, my development, my pleasure, my satisfaction…nothing new under the sun…

Very old philosophy in fact, and it’s called disobedience, rebellion, it’s called carnality. What is really is, is the rejection of a God who created us and the disparition of any accountability towards him. I am my own God. The problem here is that when people stop believing in God, they end up believing not in nothing, but rather in anything. The so-called modern philosophies, the new techniques, the new-age, are not new at all. In the old days they were called paganism, idol-worship. Even the generation of Abraham believed in the Gods of the Sun, the Earth, the Sea. It all boils down to one thing : worshipping the creature instead of the creator. It is a fascination for what is created, but the author of life is brushed aside like an obsolete theory…http://WWW.AVRAIDIRE.EU

Interesting post, Monkey. I agree with some of your points. You should know though that Steve never had sex with anyone outside of Erin before their separation (according to them), so expressing his “love” wasn’t just an excuse to have sex with other women, as your article implied. And Erin seems like a very strong and smart woman, so I don’t think anyone needs to worry about her being taken advantage of by Steve or anyone else.

That being said, I have to admit to being initially absolutely absorbed by Steve’s blog, because he lived life at its very apogee, trying things that most of us adventurous people want to try, but can’t, for various reasons. His blogs about polyphasic sleep and the raw food diet were particularly compelling.

However, more thorough reading of his blog gradually revealed some disturbing aspects of his personality to me. His “you create your own reality, and even the other people in it” notions are pure solipsism, folks. (Look it up.) You’ll find that generally people who hold solipsistic views also show a tendency towards narcissism.

In Steve’s case, this narcissism has really come to a head with his views towards polyamory. He does what he wants to do, and doesn’t care who he hurts. What a selfish person!