Photo by: Robert Owen-Wahl

A few months ago I was in a really good space with my job, my relationship, my finances, my family. Satisfied with the direction my life was heading, I took a look around at my life and my habits and decided to draw a connection between my daily habits and the results I was enjoying. This may sound elementary, but too often have I noticed that when things aren’t going too smoothly in my life, many times I don’t seem to be engaging in the same daily positive habits I was doing when things were going well. Now, I am not entirely certain about which comes first: the habits or the results, but I suspect the connection between our actions and the results we experience is something akin to the timeless question of the “chicken and the egg,” in which action and result fuel each other in an endless spinning escapade like the dragon Jormungandr chasing its tail around the entire earth.

That being said, I felt it important to codify and reflect upon some of the fundamental habits I have observed during times of good, as much as a guide for myself to remember and with which to re-orient my path, as it is an offering to my readers to assist them on their journey towards a more productive and fulfilling life.

Without further ado:

12 Steps to Everyday Happiness

1. Remember to Breathe Everyday. This can be in a focused setting accompanying meditation and/or prayer, or it can be simply be accomplished while driving the car, walking, or knocking out a routine task like washing the dishes. When we become aware of our breath do we suddenly realize how seldom we truly take in long, sustained, and full breaths. As our breath is the medium for the inflow and outflow of all life and spirit, it makes sense that the cornerstone of any positive action and results in our life experience begins and ends with breath. Even one focused and sustained breath brings enormous benefits, so it’s not like we have to have some quiet meditation space and 30 minutes of private time to accomplish this absolutely essential function of life.

2. Connect to Silence Everyday. When we become more aware of our present moment do we sometimes painfully realize how overstimulated we are especially within the context of sound. Next time you’re watching TV, take note of how much louder the commercials are than the show you are viewing. During your morning commute, make a mental note of how loud the radio is and observe the caucophony of extraneous noises that often accompany morning talk shows. Only in silence are we truly able to connect to all that we are within the context of our surroundings. Only in silence are we able to connect to literally the only thing in this existence that we can ever have or be a part of: the present moment. External silence also reveals the maelstrom of internal sounds within our Monkey Minds, that we often go on completely unaware of, thinking that it is “us” that is doing the thinking and decision making, when in reality it’s the external/internal persona we call the ego that is running endless commentary within our brains. Only when we silence the Monkey, can we live a better life. Begin with literally five seconds of absolute silence and observe the miracles unfold.

3. Move Your Body Everyday. While we are in truth spiritual beings housed in physical form, our bodies are an important connector to happiness and serenity. It is with our body that we are given the tools and the means by which to experience the material gifts this life experience has to offer. In addition, our bodies are the “Temple” and vehicle for our spirit and hence the physical expression of what is going on within. So it would make sense to keep this chariot in working order, so as to ensure that our spirit can do its work in the external world without impediment. One way to do this is through the simple act of movement. The word “emotion” contains the word “motion,” and hence the most surefire way to alter our mood is to simply move our body. The good news is that we don’t have to run a marathon to derive benefit. If all we’re able to do for the say is reach down and touch our toes, then we’ve fulfilled the day’s requirement for physical activity. The point is to simply begin somewhere. Fortunately the Universal Law of Momentum states that an object in motion tends to stay in motion. Move your body everyday and watch where it leads you.

4. Take Care of Your Temple Everyday. We talked about the body as the Temple of the Spirit in the previous step and moving our body certainly falls under the category of caring for our Temple. The other component of caring for our Temple involves self care and “body care.” This includes mundane things like keeping our hands and face clean, brushing and flossing our teeth, using oils to sooth our skin, and general hygiene. This also extends out to our other Temple, our home, and doing small things everyday to maintain our sacred space. Only have time to do one thing? Put into place the simple practice of making your bed everyday, and observe the feelings of serenity you experience to return home at the end of the day to tidy bedroom. Or how about making a commitment to put your dishes in the sink or dishwasher after every meal? What about choosing to line your shoes up neatly near the front door? The key to success here is to just begin with one simple thing that is not difficult and doesn’t take much time. You will be amazed how the habit expands with time.

5. Focus on Your Dreams Everyday. When I was in the military, I amazed how easy it was to lose your way while conducting land navigation. Armed with an azimuth and pace count, it was always striking to me how enough small obstacles over time could throw me off track. The only way to deal with this is constantly re-orient one’s self, using a map and visual cues derived from terrain analysis. Much is the same in life. We have a dream or a goal, but enough small (and large) obstacles throughout the course of daily life can completely throw us off track to the point in which we don’t even know what we’re striving for anymore. I find it such a useful tool to frequently ask myself what it truly is that I am seeking so I can ask the follow up question of whether or not my current actions and habits will deliver me to my goal. Case in point: about a year ago I received a promotion in my previous job, with a substantial jump in pay and responsibility. What came with that promotion was a pretty hectic travel cycle that would have prevented me from spending much quality time with my family or working on any of my personal goals like building this blog or the website I run with my wife, www.organicgreenmommy.com. I made the decision to turn down the offer and accept another position at a different company that required less travel but offered less of a guaranteed compensation package. Over the course of the year, from time to time My Monkey Mind has caused me to question that decision, especially when circumstances erode my confidence in my compensation or in the quality of my resume. This exercise of re-focusing on my dreams is so vital because when I do this, I realize that I in fact made the correct decision and wouldn’t be able to engage in any of my “outside pursuits” to the degree that I would like if I had the bigger job title and responsibilities. It was just my ego, my Monkey Mind, telling me that I might have made a mistake. If we are in touch with our dreams on a daily basis, then we are able to constantly re-focus our daily habits, consciously and subconsiously, in order to accomplish our goals.

6. Focus on the People You Love Everyday. While we may or may not have that “special someone” in our life, most of us can say that we have people, whether they’re family or friends, to whom we can attribute the emotion love. I am blessed to be married, be the father of a daughter, and to have two living parents, so I have many people that I love and from whom I experience love in return. Connecting to the people we love often provides meaning and context for our life experience. It also allows us to step outside of the prison of the Monkey Mind and engage ourselves in activities that are selfless or in the very least, less self-absorbed. For me, love of my family helps me to remember why I work sometimes long and hard hours to provide financial security, on occasion doing things that are on the surface unsavory. Love fuels service with joy. But let’s not forget the importance of connecting to that other person we love: ourselves. By connecting to ourselves and loving ourselves through the actions of Steps 1-5, we enliven our spirits and make ourselves more fit to serve the world and the people we love. We can’t love another without self-love, and being kind and gentle to ourselves is a fundamental way to express love for ourselves. From there, it can do nothing besides spring forth towards others.

7. Plan Your Day and Live Your Plan Everyday. There are a million ways to plan the hours of our day, but one thing’s for certain, without a plan we are heading no where. The important thing is that a plan doesn’t have to be complicated or map out every hour of the day. In fact, the more simple our plan is, especially in the early going, the more direct positive results we will experience. Broad brush strokes are fine and encouraged, like: today I will call these two people and make dinner for my spouse when I get home. Simple. Tenable. As we forward, we can add on, and codify methods for tracking and adhering to our plan.

8. Embrace Rest, Recovery, and Relaxation Everyday. We all know the benefits of a good night’s sleep but many of us can’t seem to get to bed on time or have to wake up at odd hours due to our obligations. Beyond actual sleeping, restful and relaxing activitiy is just as important and vastly less time is required. Despite modern inventions and conveniences, this society is more on the go than ever, and having PDA’s and iPhone within an arms reach at every moment of the day isn’t always beneficial. Relaxation may involve five minutes sitting in the car in silence before entering the home at the end of a long day. It might be the daily practice of engaging some kind of hobby or reading a book, even if it’s just a page or two. Proper relaxation invigorates us, so it is likely that watching TV won’t do the trick. A few minutes of being present and enjoying the view from your favorite easy chair, or a warm bath or shower, or a full shivanasana spread out on your living room floor will go a long way towards enriching your life and preparing you for the challenges ahead.

9. Seek Growth and Consciousness Everyday. This might be the formal practice of meditation, but it could also mean reserving a few moments to contemplate a “thought for the day,” read a personal development blog or book, or simply to be always vigilant for growth opportunities within the context of your daily interactions with friends, lovers, co-workers, and strangers. Know this: we are here to grow and are always growing, either in positive directions or negative directions. Chances are that difficult circumstances or obstacles are simply opportuntiies for growth masquerading as turmoil. Careful application of the previous 8 steps will make you more aware of these opportunities, allowing you to see beyond the beguiling illusion of our external world.

10. Create a Little Something Everyday. Some of us are overtly creative: aspiring artists, writers, and musicians, while the rest of us are reluctantly creative, dismissing the notion that we have the ability to create something of value and consequence in the world. The key here is that we are all creative, whether we use that aspect of ourselves or not, and in fact it is the creative force that is inherent within our human DNA. Look around at the external world and you will see that 100% of it was created by somebody or something. Creation is as natural as breathing, yet we stifle creative force as often as we stifle our yearning to simply breathe. Through creation can we express our very existence and relevance within the external and internal worlds. Large or small, creation is the expression of humanness in its raw or most elegant form and it is our duty to ourselves and the nature of our being to constantly seek to express creative energy. For some of us, this expression will be easier than it is for others. Call yourself a writer? Write something everyday. A musician or singer? Play or sing at least once a day. If you don’t know what you “are,” you can begin by writing one paragraph per morning, as writing is the cornerstone of nearly all creation. The act of writing will lead you to what your creative expression will be. The important thing is to do it regularly and it just makes is more simple to do it everyday. And remember, writing an email to customer doesn’t count, unless the content of that message is the expression of a creative idea as opposed to simply a means of communicating a message. While creation is communication, not all communication is creation. Creation expresses feelings and creation inspires further creation. It’s that simple.

11. Listen to Music Everyday. Little else inspires creation and love like music. Sadly many of us abandon the joys of music as we grow older, and instead listen to talk radio or books on tape in our cars, or gab endlessly on the phone. Hearing music and exploring new music is a pathway to memory, to the present moment, and to creation. Personally I like to listen to many different kinds of music, depending upon my current mood or desired mood. This was a lot easier when I installed a Sirius Satellite Radio in my car, as I now never have to worry about losing reception on my favorite stations or being bombarded by radio advertising in between overplayed hits.

12. Do All of this With Joy and Gratitude Everyday. The key to happiness is appreciating the present because that’s all we have. Focusing on what we don’t want scares or distracts us, only calls up more of the same. The surest way to achieve sustained happiness is through the path of gratitude. Only by appreciating our gifts are we able to bestow gifts upon others and the world. Even the most desitute of us has at least one thing to be grateful for, and it might just be the simple ability to comprehend that idea, although we might fail at putting it into practice. An attitude of gratitude springs forth riches too numerous or magnificent to put into words.

Breathe, Connect to Silence, Move, Take Care of Yourself & Your Home, Dream, Love, Plan, Rest, Grow, Create, and do these things with song, joy, and gratitude; the many miracles of life will unfold for you and it can all be yours today.